Leaving 

The following is yet another writing of mine on depression. Depression plays a big role in my day to day life, dictating my thoughts and actions. When I am depressed, hunger doesn’t matter, my needs cease to have meaning, and I feel as though I am literally living a lie.


I’m leaving for a while 
Maybe a better word is “disappearing”

I don’t know how long, or exactly where I’m going

You may see the shell of me
But I’m not there
I float and stumble through days
Filling the hours that are sticky like honey
With anything that will get me through 
I miss you, and all of the things I enjoy 
I miss happiness and lightness 
Smiles and laughter 
I hate that when I leave I am taking them with me 
Sometimes their ghosts creep in
A glimmer of better days
And I feel a spark of hope
Emotions are like a candle flame 
There for one moment, and then extinguished 
I’m leaving and I miss you 
Miss this adventure of life
My head is heavy 
With pain and confusion 
Exhaustion 
Maybe if you speak loud enough 
Look me in the eyes
I will come back

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2 thoughts on “Leaving 

  1. Poetry group at the program I’m in is simply impossible. I’ve damaged the part of my brain that can comprehend it and yet… I always understand yours. Is it because I feel I am coming from the same place? Is it because the words you speak could be mine? I don’t know, but one one thing I do know is this: I appreciate your sharing your inner most thoughts. You express, many times, my own thoughts and its good to know I’m not alone.

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    • ❤️ I feel that way about a lot of poetry. It feels so foreign to finally be able to connect to something, and I don’t know about you, but sometimes it feels better to believe that I can’t connect, that I’m completely broken. I’m sad that you see parts of yourself in this, and yet at the same time, I’m glad that you are still able to find that connection.

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