Patron at library: “Will you pick up my gum?”
Patron: “I dropped my gum by the trash can, here’s a napkin. Can you pick it up?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Patron: “I thought I was close enough to the can to spit it in. I guess I wasn’t though. Can you just pick it up and toss it in for me?”
(Different) Patron at library: “Do you ever get really tired, and eat a lot of peanut M&M’s?”
Patron: “And then you feel sick.”
Me: “…no, I guess I never have.”
Patron: “Well, of course not, you’re too skinny”
Woman returning DVD’s: “Do I have a late fee on these? Because I was in the hospital.”
Co-worker: “Yes, there is a fine on them.”
Woman: “Well, see, I couldn’t help it. I was in the hospital because I had a miscarriage. That’s why I haven’t been in.”
Male patron: “I thought I should grab this while it’s still here. I thought, might as well. I just thought. You know, before someone else grabs it” (referring to a cookbook that is years old and he found in the stacks)
Me: “Uh huh”
Patron: “Yeah, I just thought, might as well!”
Me: “Might as well”.
Patron: Do you have the movie “To Kill a Mockingbird”?
Patron: Could you put me on the reserve hold list for that?
Another patron who was listening in: Ohhhh, me too! That’s the one with P-Diddy, right?
Me: I don’t think so…
Patron: Can you put my dvd in a bag? It looks like it might rain.
Note: It is a perfectly sunny day outside. This patron asks for a plastic bag every time they come in.