Cave in

It’s funny, I was sitting here, thinking about how to write a post that narrated how I felt, and I saw in my mind’s eye my brain caving in…imagine it with me: a pink gelatinous mass that slowly starts to sink in on itself…like a popped bubble of gum. This is how I feel sometimes when I think about food. Well, okay, maybe not only like this. Sometimes I feel really…irritated? Like I have way too many choices of what I could eat (or should eat) and I just want to ignore it and not eat. Some days it feels like my brain is ready to collapse, like it’s all just too much. This is all self-inflicted though, right? I have a choice whether I feel this way or not. Yeah, sometimes I do have a choice. And other times it’s like my mind is on auto-pilot and it just does it’s thing. So to put it in perspective, my brain is a car on auto-pilot. It tells me to avoid pot holes that may cause trauma. I have to override this feature and take the wheel, press my foot to the accelerator, and tell myself that the potholes are annoying, they aren’t fun, but I have to face them sometimes. And when I do, sometimes it’s easier to speed up really really fast and almost hop over them, to avoid getting too jostled around. I’ll keep on driving along this road that is uncomfortable, because I really don’t see any detour. And though there may be patches that are really rough, and I might lose my tail-pipe along the way, I think I see smoother roads ahead.2f3cf47b92b0854053e008202d1d6e0c

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